I don't do well in relationships. There's a multitude of reasons for this but I think one of the prime 
I like to keep things simple.deductions is because I simply have a hard time putting up with women's nonsensical prattle on a constant basis. The basic emotional anatomy of a woman is composed primarily of drama and constant reassurances that they are attractive. Furthermore, I have found that the hotter they are, the more insecure they become. Of course with this also comes the constant verbal onslaught of, "Who is so and so? Are you cheating on me?" Or the afforementioned reassurances in public after a hot girl walks by, "Do you think that girl is hotter than me?" Sometimes the reassurances aren't in public but in the privacy of the home with the ever infamous statement of "Does this dress make me look fat?" To which my reply would of course be, "No sweety, your fat makes you look fat." And as soon as I have sex with you guess what happens. Yes, I am suddenly having to listen to all of your life issues with whomever, coupled with being subject to your auditory assault of your own inadequacies as a person. No perfectly sane human being should ever have to contend with such a detrimental monologue, with shows starting every hour.
In other instances, my lack for wanting to achieve monogamy with that special someone is the fact that prolonged exposure to pretty much anyone slowly begins to eat away at my sanity and emotional well-being. I live alone and there is a reason for this, and that reason is because people piss me off and irritate me. If you have been unable to grasp the fact that I have a severe disdain for the majority of humans in this world, then you haven't been paying attention. I am a man, and the sanctity of my cave is vital. I can't have you contaminating it's very existence with your estrogen induced diatribes and lunacy.
Look at this poor bastard.
Be all of that as it may, I am also an issue when it comes to consorting with the fairer sex. I just too often times say inappropriate things. Among these are some of the following things that have been uttered by me, which I will bulletpoint for you:
- I saw one of my exes' mothers at a social function and she looked extremely hot. I turned to my girlfriend and said, "Hey sweety, how would you like to have a new baby sister, courtesy of your ruggedly handsome boyfriend?" She instantaneously punched me in the ribs.
- "If I have to listen to anymore of your nagging, complaining, and self-esteem issues I will be forced to swallow a frisbee, and seeing that I consider myself more important than you it poses a major threat to our relationship, so get out of my house."
- "Why did you spend $500 on a purse when you already have like 5 that do the exact same thing? What, because this one's red it warrants a purchase? Are you retarded? I can never have children with you if they are to inherit your illogical reasoning."
- "Why the hell would I want to go out with your dumb girlfriend's boyfriend? Have you not been made completely aware of my policy of setting me up on playdates? I don't care if he's the pitcher for the LA Dodgers or a janitor at Burger King, I can think of about 100 other people I'd rather go drinking with."
- One of my exes was quite the asthmatic. When I get drunk I rarely care about the rest of mankind and she unfortunately fell into this category at the time. I decided to smoke one of the cuban cigars I had and about 2 minutes later she went into a massive asthma attack. After she regained her composure with the assistance of her inhaler, my warm and endearing words sounded something like this, "See baby? I told you I take your breath away." She didn't talk to me for 2 days afterward. I guess it was traumatic.
So you see, I've spelled it out for you in black and white. When my only writing forum happened to be myspace, I use to get quite a number of emails asking me "Why aren't you in a relationship Dom?" I actually wrote a whole article on that one single, solitary question which I may post here, but there are so many reasons I can go on and on about it. At the same time though, don't let the above information jade you. There have been many women who have crossed my path that I took a sincere interest in, unfortunately I just get bored really easily. So perhaps after reading the reasons and such, you can have some semblance of an understanding as to why I've never been married and why I choose to be single for the most part. I have been known to indulge in a relationship every 5 years or so, but they're shortlived and serve as merely a reminder to me as to why I am hardly ever in them. I am also not a co-dependent fucktard who needs to validate his existence with a joined partnership with the opposite sex. If I want to feel like I'm "serving time" I'll just go break one of the many laws of our land and be a tax burden to you and your family. However I don't want to do that, and thank you for your time.